Bears eat man at Beer festival

[redhawk]

From CNN::


"BELGRADE, Serbia (Reuters) -- A 23-year old Serb was found dead and half-eaten in the bear cage of Belgrade Zoo at the weekend during the annual beer festival.

The man was found naked, with his clothes lying intact inside the cage. Two adult bears, Masha and Misha, had dragged the body to their feeding corner and reacted angrily when keepers tried to recover it.

"There's a good chance he was drunk or drugged. Only an idiot would jump into the bear cage," zoo director Vuk Bojovic told Reuters.

Local media reported that police found several mobile phones inside the cage, as well as bricks, stones and beer cans"

Guess it was a bearvarian beer fest.....

[1894]

Sounds like another Darwin award winner

Or Gods way of weeding out the stupid ones

or mayby the bears just wanted a COLD Labatts Blue instead

Phil

[adkmoose]

Sounds like another Darwin award winner

Or Gods way of weeding out the stupid ones

or mayby the bears just wanted a COLD Labatts Blue instead

Phil

God doesn't weed out the stupid people , Stupid people weed out themselves .
Either way everybody wins.

[Little Rickie]

God doesn't weed out the stupid people , Stupid people weed out themselves .
Either way everybody wins.

The fact the stupid people exist is proof that God does. Who else could be looking out for them and their survival?

[1894]

God doesn't weed out the stupid people , Stupid people weed out themselves .
Either way everybody wins.

I stand corrected on that statement


Phil

[Mavs00]

What a crappy way to end a good buzz.

[chaser]

At least he didn't have to deal with the hangover!

[Little Rickie]

What a crappy way to end a good buzz.

As bear crap. Sad so sad.

A few more stories like this & I may start to thinking about maybe stopping drinking.

[Hobbitling]

well at least he was well marinated.

[redhawk]

well at least he was well marinated.

More like infused.......

[Gurn]

Maybe nobody told the poor feller he was posta be wearing bells on his shoes before entering the cage!!!

[Starshadow]

If only that fella had read this related study first......


Study: Alligators Dangerous No Matter How Drunk You Are

BATON ROUGE, LA—In a breakthrough study that contradicts decades of understanding about the nature of alligator–drunkard relations, Louisiana State University researchers have concluded that people's drunkenness does not impair the ancient reptiles' ability to inflict enormous physical harm.


Alligators exhibit the potential to inflict serious harm, regardless of the blood-alcohol levels of their victims.
"Our data strongly indicates that human intoxication does not transform an alligator into a docile creature that enjoys wrestling," said professor Ryder McCrory, chair of the Wildlife Taunting Department of LSU's prestigious Center For Bullying And Hazing Studies. "Despite its slow-witted demeanor and tendency to bask motionlessly in the hot sun, it's a mistake to believe that an alligator will passively tolerate a half nelson, no matter how much Southern Comfort is fueling it."

McCrory said the study yielded statistics that speak for themselves.

"In 10 out of 10 documented cases of violent alligator–drunkard encounters, the reptile was not influenced by the fact that the victim was 'just kidding' or 'just having some fun,'" McCrory said.

To an alligator, McCrory explained, a human forearm, even drunkenly dangled between the creature's casually opened jaws, still appears to be prey.

In field experiments, members of the control group performed no better-—and often far worse—than their sober counterparts in defending themselves against a 300-pound, seven-foot bull alligator. Even when armed with an empty tequila bottle.

"At best, the bottles bounced harmlessly off the alligator's snout," said LSU research assistant Tracy Sawyer.

When placed in water, the drunken volunteers fared even worse, and the alligator markedly better, Sawyer said.

In addition, the alligators far outperformed their inebriated human counterparts in the following areas: lunging, biting, crushing, dismembering, and swallowing.

According to the study, an alligator's characteristic grin should not be interpreted as a lighthearted reaction to the outrageous nerve of an alcohol-addled human. "Don't let an alligator's easygoing appearance fool you," Sawyer said. "These creatures have no empathy for drunken pranksters looking for fun."

McCrory recommended that alligator wrestling be undertaken solely by professionals, specifically roadside-attraction proprietors. For drunkards interested in proving their mettle with alligators, the researchers proposed these guidelines:

Instead of baiting an alligator, seek another form of drunken recreation, such as attending a strip club, burning a pile of tires, or painting one's buttocks with a funny face and videotaping it.

Sick or infant deer are considered a far safer match for most inebriated humans; kicking a raccoon or squirrel already dying by the side of the road is also recommended.

Experts suggest that those who become aggressive after consuming alcohol would be safer channeling that energy into more constructive behavior, such as calling an ex-lover.

And McCrory warned drunkards who "absolutely must assault an alligator while inebriated" to first make sure it is not a John Deere Gator cargo utility vehicle. This oversight "is a common occurrence," he said.

The Onion May 10, 2006

[Starshadow]

From CNN::


"BELGRADE, Serbia (Reuters) -- A 23-year old Serb was found dead and half-eaten in the bear cage of Belgrade Zoo at the weekend during the annual beer festival.

The man was found naked, with his clothes lying intact inside the cage. Two adult bears, Masha and Misha, had dragged the body to their feeding corner and reacted angrily when keepers tried to recover it.

"There's a good chance he was drunk or drugged. Only an idiot would jump into the bear cage," zoo director Vuk Bojovic told Reuters.

Local media reported that police found several mobile phones inside the cage, as well as bricks, stones and beer cans"

Guess it was a bearvarian beer fest.....

Ok, I should have given this one up as everyone else has done. As the man entered the cage one bear turned to the other and said,

"Dinner is Serbbed."

[Gurn]

Thats good.